'Stubborn Child' Understand the Underlying Reasons

     Oppositional behavior in children often stems from various underlying causes, including developmental stages, environmental influences, the child’s thoughts and needs, adult expectations, and physical or psychological conditions. Conflict arises when these elements clash, resulting in defiance. Effective communication with children is essential for managing such behavior.

Causes of Oppositional Behavior in Children

1.  Age-Related Factors

     Each developmental stage has its characteristics. Young children often explore their environment, while older children begin forming independent thoughts and needs. Hormonal and emotional changes may also influence adolescents.

2.  Developmental Delays

     Delays in motor, speech, or social development can lead to behavioral issues, as children may struggle to express themselves. Conditions such as ADHD or learning difficulties may also contribute to oppositional behavior.

3.  Psychological Factors

     Anxiety, stress, or antisocial tendencies can manifest as defiance or resistance.

4.  Environmental Factors

     Poor communication, family conflict, lack of attention, overly permissive parenting, or absence of clear rules can all negatively influence a child's behavior and promote inappropriate behavioral modeling.

How to Respond When a Child Is Defiant

Raising a child is like planting a seed of thought—mental growth develops alongside physical growth.

1.  Use "I & You" Messages

     Establish eye contact to gain the child’s attention. Express your feelings and clearly state your needs without blaming the child. For example, rather than criticizing the child's actions, state what you want them to do and how you feel.

2.  Redirect Attention

     When a child is engaged in a favorite activity, such as gaming, it can be difficult to gain their attention. Use moments of fatigue or breaks to connect. Discuss topics of interest to the child, and allow time for them to regulate their emotions before engaging further.

3.  Set Mutual Conditions

     Establish age-appropriate, clear rules together, such as homework time, playtime, or social behavior. This helps the child understand boundaries and develop healthy social interactions.

4.  Lower Expectations

     Adjust expectations to be more attainable and focus on the child’s strengths. Set manageable goals and gradually raise the bar. Acknowledge and praise their efforts to help them recognize their capabilities and grow in confidence.